stumblingtoholiness

And today it hits.  I have been feeling, yes.  I have been peaceful.  Now, everything is falling apart.

Have I mentioned that we live in a 2 bedroom condo?  Yes, our family of 7 lives in about 1100 square feet.  And I’m ok with that.  Really; I know that it is a palace compared to the homes of much of the world.  We own 5.16 acres nearby that we have dreams of building a house on.  We were hopeful that process was beginning.  We had a buyer for our condo.  That fell through, not for lack of effort on each party’s end.  I have no resentments there.  It just is what it is.  We thought at least this has bumped us out of our comfort zone, and we are still moving forward.  We had bought a camper to live in on our land while we were in flux between selling and building.  We were looking ahead to a grand adventure.

And now my baby that I didn’t even know I had is dead.  It all seems so meaningless.  I’m not even really devastated about the sale falling through, it just all doesn’t really seem to matter.  The funeral home called today.  I have to go in to sign a cremation order.

Lord lift my eyes to thee,

Give me clear vision

Help me see

Your precious Son,

My Saviour.

The following is from The Valley of Vision, edited by Arthur Bennett

THE VALLEY OF VISION

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,

Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold

thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox

that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells the brighter

thy stars shine;

Let me find thy light in my darkness,

thy life in my death,

thy joy in my sorrow,

thy grace in my sin,

thy riches in my poverty

thy glory in my valley.

 

© stumblingtoholiness.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to stumblingtoholiness.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.